End and Beginning

At the end of the year, most people like to take a review of their year. Almost like an inventory of what the year was like. To reflect if you will. I always prompt my friends on facebook to think about one word to describe their year and maybe even a scripture. This morning as I was walking my puppers, I thought about my year.

My word.... HOPE

One day I saw a picture with the word HOPE written vertically and a catchy phrase describing what the word meant to that person. Hold On Pain Ends. It's safe to say that some years bring more pain/growth than others. There are seasons of being planted, buried, pressed together, growth, mountain tops. All those wonderful Christiana phrases we use to describe our 'seasons.' I really feel like this year really taught me HOPE. Putting my hope in Jesus. Romans 12:12 says this, 

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

It's almost a three strand cord. Hope, Patience, and Faithful. We hope for the best of our circumstances. We are patient for God's timing. And we are faithful to the call to spread the gospel. I think that really what spoke to me the most this year was Galatians 6:9.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I wanted to throw in the towel and give up this year. On so many different things. So many different areas of my life. Through turmoil, pain, stress. I wanted to call it the year of the white flag. When I get stressed most times I take a nap. I wanted to do that in ALL things. Oh, that sucks, let's take a nap. Oh, this is going on. Let's take a nap. It was my result for everything.

My husband wouldn't let me. He kept reminding me that it was going to be worth it. Everything we were dealing with would make it worth it. I didn't believe him. For 6-8 months, I didn't believe him. I was a debbie downer. I would get up with a bad attitude and say, "I'm done." And my husband, each time, strong as an ox would say to me, 

"Deborah. You know we do everything as if we were doing it for Christ. Every area of our life is for Christ. It's not for man. It's not for the glory. It's for God. We have to keep going. It will be worth it."

Even though it made me mad as crap. These words were what kept me going. These were the words that pushed me all year. These were the things that gave me HOPE! December 24th. Sitting here replaying my year in my head. I can honestly say that the scripture from Galatians 6:9 is true. Looking at the harvest that is being reaped brings me more hope. Looking at what has happened over the year; financially, spiritually, and mentally, has brought me hope.

The outcome of the labor is worth it. I gained hope in 2018. There was a lot of pain and loss. But I, Deborah, gained hope. I gained more than I lost. 2018 wasn't my worst year. It was a year of singing, "all my hope is in Jesus."