It's not an addiction.

This morning was the start of my "fasting friday". I woke up with the attitude that I could do anything. God told me, "No coffee and no soda." I was completely okay with that. I had a great positive attitude for my Friday and was out the door to work.

The morning consisted of hard work and playing. I got to leave Joseph with his father so I could focus on some extra activities. We went outside and played because it's been about 65-70 here during the day. After I brought the kids inside and had their lunch for them I started to get a little headache. I figured my sugar was dropping so I ate my lunch. Got the kids to bed and sat down to re-watch the sermon "Save the scraps" by TD Jakes and BOOM like a ton of bricks it hit me.

Right behind my eyes throbbing. All the way back to the base of my skull. Nausea. What in the world was happening to me. I called Justin and asked him to pray and told him what was going on. He told me that it was a caffeine withdraw. The same thing happens during a nicotine withdraw. How could I be having a caffeine headache when I don't really drink that much caffeine? I have a cup in the morning and in the evening. That's it.

I started thinking about how I make my coffee. It's pretty strong and my "Cup" is almost 3 cups in a pot. So about 5-6 cups a day. That's a little bit of coffee. My withdraw was a possibility. But I wasn't addicted. The longer I sat the worse it got. My hands began to lose color and I began to shake. I was almost completely nauseated to the point of one of the kids caught me sitting in the bathroom floor because I thought I was going to puke.

Side note... I have only thrown up twice in 15 years. Throwing up is a last resort.

It made me start thinking about things that I do in my life that I keep telling myself aren't addictions. Things I don't see as a problem, just like I don't see my coffee drinking as a problem.The addiction can be hidden, or something you could think is a part of your every day routine. Anything you have in life could become an addiction, easy. We have to be silent enough to hear God tell us what He wants us to get rid of.

Is there anything that you have been holding onto that your really need to let go? Something that you have been holding onto for years that you need to drop at the feet of Jesus? Trust me, it's not going to be easy. It could be as painful as a physical withdraw. You have to make sure that you pluck the problem out by the root. It's not an easy process, but worth it in the end.