eeny meeny miney mo

As a kids I used to play eeny meeny miney mo. Catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers let him go. Etc etc etc. I would do it for everything. Picking clothes, which way to go, who to call, where to eat, everything. As an adult, I spend a lot of time playing with the kids I'm around all the time when they are picking clothes, what they want to have for lunch, what to watch for a movie. When Shannon Ethridge asked me what I thought made me have an addiction to "love" I instantly said 'Let me count the ways."

I instantly started listening people, past circumstances, break ups. The list became endless. I picked the book back up I was floored to discover my "Eeny Meeny Miney Mo" moment of picking what cause my issues was me. The thing that was the same in EVERY thing I listed was me. Not that it was things involving men, or "happened to me during high school", or blaming my father for being absent. Me. I was the cause for my own issues. 

"I wish I could recover the many years I spent closely scrutinizing my father's ability to nurture, digging up every person who had done me wrong, and suspecting ever man with whom I had ever been involved of being the reason I was so unfulfilled. I thank God that I finally came to the end of that rope and guess who I found there holding on to it? You guessed it - me."

Nothing like having a huge smack in the face before you go to bed at night. But it's so true. You have to make decisions for yourself to change. You have to get to the end of your rope and be willing to give it all over to God. 

"It takes two to tango, and taking responsibility for your own actions is foundational in your journey towards healing."

You have to start at the, HEY I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. You know, the classic admitting you have a problem to fix the problem. Then be willing to admit that it's your fault that you are in the place that you are, work through a lot of damaged thinking, AND be willing to admit DAILY your flaw and work on fighting your temptation. This isn't something that you can fix in a day.

You can't just eeny meeny miney mo your way out of this. You can't pick one or the other. Maybe you think, oh I can work on this a little and it will be fixed. Yeah right. That was my standpoint on things and let me leave you with one scripture for a kick in the face, just in case you need another. 

But when you ask, you must believe and not double, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. JAMES 1:6-8

Being double minded is one way that I thought I was getting away with this for so long. But there is no way that it can work anymore. A black and white dog are sitting in a yard. Whichever one you feed the most is the one that would win in a fight. You can't have an even fight, because one would win and one would lose. It is all in what area of life that you feed the most. Your addiction will kill you. Spiritually and physically. Pick. Eeny meeny miney mo and put to death which part of you that you don't want to have controlling your life.