Looking back......

During Lent every year I give up something. Call it tradition. Call it religious. I don't care. It's what I've always done and will continue to do until forever. This year I was praying for what I was to give up. As many of you know, Justin and I started dieting a few months back and gave up a lot of things so I wasn't sure what this year had in store.

Oddly enough, I ended up being asked to take communion daily. After being at Teen Mania communion took a whole new meaning for me and I found it hard some mornings to take it. While I was at Teen Mania a teacher told me about the process of engagement in bible times. They said that a man would present the female with a cup of wine and ask her to marry him. If she accepted, she would drink. Thus making communion a proposal to me. Serious, I know. Mind blown yet? Oh just you wait.

March 6th - Lent begins. I purchased crackers, which totally went against keto dieting but obedience to God comes before 'counting carbs.' My prayer started with God let me walk like Jesus walked and love those around me. Everything is going great for about 2 weeks. Then my prayer changed.

March 11th - Callies insurance did an evaluation on her to determine if she needed an aid anymore. I have been with Callie for 8 years, she keeps telling people it's been all her life. The meeting determined that Callie wouldn't need an aid as long as she did previously. They were proposing 10 hours a week. Where as before it was 30. My prayer changed to, 'let this cup pass from me.' Fully understanding the prayers of Jesus in the Garden.

With uncertainty and confusion I had to start filling out applications. I have bills and a family I had to think of. It was never something I wanted to do but I had to do. Application after application, denied denied denied.

Fast Forward to April 2nd. The news came. My hours we're going to be cut to 10 hours a week. Broken and confused, I just prayed. I had 2 weeks left of full time with Callie and things would shift.

I was offered a job at a local Christian school to be a teachers aid. I could work part time 12-6 and still work a few hours a day with Callie. That week of getting the news was so hard on me. I couldn't sleep because I didn't want to hurt Callie. I didn't want this change. But I knew that God was doing things for a reason.

After speaking with the director we set a date to start. April 17th. This week has been hard. Emotional. Trying. I prayed over and over for the cup to pass from me. In my bitterness I stopped taking communion on April 14th. I went through this week with not the best attitude. I was aggravated, frustrated, and struggled. As I was working on my message this evening for the Good Friday service we had been invited to be a part of I remembered we were taking communion. Then I asked Siri a question that stopped me dead in my tracks.

"When does Lent End?"

'Christian Lent started on Wednesday, March 6th, 2019, and ended on Wednesday, April 17, 2019. The first day of my 'new job' was the end of Lent. I was shocked and couldn't speak. I just sat and prayed. I'm sure you all have stories just like this. Walking through everything I couldn't see what God was doing. But in my attitude and my crappy ways, God still showed me that He was with me. He had me. And he has you.


Whatever you are going through right now. Know that God has a plan. God has a purpose. Another prayed I prayed constantly was, "God I don't know what you are doing so I hope you do." Looking back, I know that He did.