The process of becoming who Christ wants us to be can be painful. Of course, like we hear often, the first step to fixing the problem is admitting we have a problem. Acknowledgment I guess is what I should be saying here. So I sit here at 6:39 am wondering what that means for me? Whats my next step after the first step? How many steps? How long of a stride? You get it. I'm a 'lets me this more complicated than it needs to be' kinda person.
While I was walking the pups, who religiously wake me up at 6am daily, I was talking to God about what the process looked like a little bit. I wanted to know how long this was gonna be. Which the answer to that is forever. He pointed out moments in the last week where I had responded differently. Reacted in a different way. Or took things differently than I had before. I did my internal happy dance because I'm seeing progress.
However, the fact remained. I had a lot of damage that had to be undone. To be the person God wants you to be, you have to change things you've always done. Which in my mind means my personality. That's hard because I love who I am. However, I know that there has to be a drastic change for people to see how powerful my God is. That was the first thing that God told me when this whole thing began.
I find security in my personality and I think that's why it has to be changed. You could find security in your makeup, or your hair, or your car. Your house even. I'm not saying stop wearing make up or stop getting your hair done. I'm saying that we have to look and see what things define who we are. I don't want to be the girl that everyone knows me as, I want to be the girl God designed me to be. If that means losing something about myself that I love, so be it. (Cringing as I type that)
We can't find our identity in something we've always known if we want to be something we've never been. Have a good day. Just some documenting for later :)
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