Who are you?

Today I went and got a haircut. I left, went back in, and got more cut off. It's a lot shorter than what I anticipated and I'm still unsure if I like it. Then my husband and I went to get dye. It was SO short that you could only see my natural color in the back. After applying the color that was picked, I was flipping out. It was super fire engine red. After I got out of the shower, it was almost a purple tint. I looked in the mirror and I couldn't believe it.

I wasn't feeling it AT ALL. I asked God what the lesson was because that seems to be the case with everything here lately. He said, "I have to strip you." Umm, excuse me? What in the world does that mean? Seriously, after this year I think I've had just about enough stripping that I can take. But apparently, it isn't enough. So I murmured, 'continue.'

"For 30 years, you have been something that everyone has wanted you to be. For 30 years you have been what someone expected you to be. For 30 years you have been one specific way. But it's not who I created you to be. I want to introduce you to the you that I created you to be. Not the you that you are now."

I was taken back by that. I thought I had figured it out. I thought I was on the right path. I thought that we were going strong. Here I was, standing in front of the mirror, and for the first time, I didn't recognize myself. The person standing in the mirror wasn't who I thought I was. Now I have to challenge myself to look deeper past the things that I thought I knew and test it.

I have to make sure that I'm listening to God's direction, and not mans. I have to make sure I test it against scripture. I have to make sure that I REALLY REALLY REALLY start to learn who I am called to be and not who I am. I wonder if I'm the only one who has been experiencing this? And if I am, that's cool. But if not, then I'm in the same boat as you! Although I am thrilled and terrified. I'm ready. I'm finally ready to meet the Deborah that I am supposed to be.