DON'T fake it until you make it.

A few days ago my husband and I were at wal mart picking up a few items. (story of my life) And he wanted to go by and pick up some hair dye for me. Like a lot of women in my generation, I've been dying my hair since I was about 16 and had the same strawberry blond hair and loved it. No one could tell that it wasn't my natural color to the point that when I was getting ready the day before my wedding I mentioned I needed to go get hair dye and about 6 people looked at me completely puzzled. They didn't even know that I dyed it.

Almost 12 years later, I decided to go back to my natural color and leave it be because I had a baby and all my extra income went to him and his needs. Well my husband missed the red (He likes red heads.... go figure) and asked me to dye it. So I said I didn't care and let him pick out a color. I dyed it. AND it looks awful, or so I think so. I didn't leave it on as long because I didn't really want the extremely color red that was picked out, but we do things for our spouses because we love them.

Yesterday listening to Pastor Furtick and he was talking about hidden issues. He was saying that you need to be yourself when you are dating because the way you get them tends to be the way you have to keep them. Very true statement. If you use yourself as a sexual object for a person, that's going to be the only way that you are going to be able to keep that person. He was talking about how we continue to push issues down in our life and pivot and avoid confrontation or dealing with the issue. Esau and Jacob was his example. Jacob ran from Esau for a VERY long time before he came to terms with what he did and faced him. When he faced him, he was afraid of destruction and death, however he was greeted with love and compassion. 

We can sometimes tend to be that way. Run from things and put on a front. We over compensate for our issues and we use other tactics, such as humor (me), to create this image of what we think people need us to be like. The sooner that we learn to be ourselves and embrace who we are, as God created us, the easier life will be. The reason I say that it will be easier is because you won't have to put so much effort forth in putting on a show for people. You can sit there and pretend all you want that you don't do it, but think really hard about it. 

I've always had one specific issue. It's come into my marriage. I've always been really good at pivoting around the issue. Stuffing it in my pocket. Moving on with it. Since January I have been dealing with it. Facing it head on like Jacob did Esau. I encourage you to embrace yourself as a creation. Love who God made you in all area's. 

Now back to my hair. I continually dyed it to the point where my husband loves that color on me. Does that mean he doesn't love me? No. Does that mean he wishes that I was a different woman? No (Some days he may) He loves the person that I am. Not because of my hair, or my weight, or what I do for him. He loves ME for who I AM. Flaws and all.