Becoming

I start a lot of things. I aspire to do great things for others. The reason this may stick? Because it's for me. A few days ago I hit a depression wall again. It happens often and I try to let it slide off my back like a duck. I'm that happy girl and everyone sees me as that. The happy go lucky smiling girl. Truth is, sometimes I'm not. It's been about a month coming. I go through this process a lot. 

Most of the time it's because I feel like I'm not doing enough, or I'm not going in a forward motion, or even just have a ride of sad crap happen and I can't seem to pick myself up. But I'm not perfect. I don't ever want to be seen like that. 

I was sitting talking with God when a storm session came along. A tornado of getting set straight. I said the dangerous words, Lord have your way in me. Whatever it is that I need, do it. His response was NOT what I expected at all. To the point where it took me about 3 days to process it fully. Only best my best friend and I were talking about it and she helped me get it. 

God said he had more for me. And that's always a great thing to hear, until you hear what you have to do to get there. He mentioned that everything that has happened in my life has brought me to where I am right now. In this moment. Every decision. Every word. Boom. This is me! But is it? 

I'm a child of God, a mother, daughter, a high school graduate, college student, drama club nerd. All these things describe something about me that I thought defined me. But if I strip all those things away from me, I'm simply Deborah. But who is she? Cause I honestly don't know. As God began to wear me down and tear me apart a bit I realized that I am always working my way to becoming who God wants me to be. 

It's a process, it's never completed. It's a constant 'work in progress' kinda deal. I decided to document what I learned in a page on facebook and sometimes post some blogs along the way. I'll NEVER post blogs designated to my transformation on my personal page, just the page I created for the journey. You can come along with me, or not. Your choice. I'm not offended one way or another because, as I said before. This is for me. 

I send this portion of scripture to my friend a lot and didn't realize that I was sending it because I needed to hear it. 

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:6

God began a good work in me, and in you, and will KEEP CARRYING IT OUT until the day of Christ Jesus. As long as I am willing to do the little extra work to get me there. 

MY PAGE is here. Or at least I think. You can add it or go on it. Or just keep checking back here for nuggets of goodness.