1.160

It is 160 days until my 30th birthday. So far I have lost 20 or so pounds. I just changed my eating habits and lost that weight. But I know that I have to change a lot of other things now to continue to lose the weight. So I'm trying some new things. Today is Monday. Motivational Monday.

This was from 2 weekends ago. My friends wedding. My first wedding. I sit here and HAVE to speak Psalm 139 over my life. Looking at that picture, I don't see the 20 pounds that I've lost. The words that come to mind are NOT very nice. I'm sitting here typing this and a little 2 year old got so excited as she saw my picture. She gave me a kiss (on the screen) and said, "oh I love my Debba." If only I could feel that way about myself.

I'm working my way through a sermon from a friend pastor of mine and he's talking about the Storms of Life. He's referencing the story of the time Jesus was on the boat and the winds picked up and the disciples freaked out. The pastor mentioned that in the scripture it says, "Let US pass unto the other side." (Mark 4:35 KJV) He said that means you aren't doing this alone. I know that I'm not the only person that feels this way about themselves. 

Does it make me feel better to know that I'm not alone? No, surprisingly it doesn't. It breaks my heart to know that people look in the mirror and see something completely different from what the world sees. And when they see pictures of themselves, they are devastated. I know that this is going to be a journey of self acceptance but change on a lot of levels. I've hide behind a lot of things, mainly comedy, for many years. It's time to stop. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 

Psalm 139:13-14