I wish I had known.... 1

I was going through some articles online the other morning and began reading one about "20 things I wish I had known in my 20's." I like stupid stuff like that, so I opened it. It made me think about all the things I wish I had known in my 20's, now that I'm entering the big 30's. What better thing to do than to share those things with you!

1 - The hardest heartbreak produces the greatest lessons.

I was in a relationship, go figure, with this guy. It was my first seriously relationship. I was 18, I think. He was to good to be true. You know, all that stupid stuff you say when you think you are in love. We got engaged after he met my father. I was planning a wedding and thought everything was set. One weekend he decided that he needed some time to visit his family out of town, which was fine with me. When he got home, he called and said he was home and that he was tired and he would talk to me on Monday. It was summer. A few months before I would leave for Texas to attend Teen Mania's Honor Academy. I called him before work and he never answered. Fear flooded my body. I had no idea what was going on. He eventually broke up with me and I went and ransacked his house. (Crazy psycho, I know.) He was engaged to another woman and sleeping with another on the side. He had been playing me for a fool for a whole year. I was heartbroken. 

Fast forward 3 years to when I'm in my next real relationship. It didn't last long AT ALL. We partied, a lot. Drank constantly. I would come to church drunk. I mean it was an awful situation. But I defended it because this guy was a christian. I was on guard and asked God what I needed to do. If I needed to break up with him or not. Your typical one foot in the world and one foot in heaven type deal here. I was more heart broken over that than I was my engagement break-up. I came home, gut wrenching pain. Crying for hours. (Complete psycho on his porch as well) 

However, the things I learned from those moments of heartbreak were worth more than any memory of them ever will. I joke now and say that the best thing that came out of those relationships is my love for Sunchips and Honey Mustard Pringles. But it taught me who I wanted to be with in the long run AND it showed me how much my God loves me. He was protecting me from so much more in my future. I can see where those guys are today and be thankful for where I am. 

Heartbreak is so much more than just a breakup. It could be a shut door. I experienced that a few months ago and spent weeks downing myself and feeling like a failure. But God showed me why. I've had a desire to do something and watched ever door be slammed in my face. To the extent of seeing my dream become a reality through someone else. Heartbreak covers a multitude of things. It's not just relationships. But every time I was hurt, I proceeded to grow a little more. I'm still having heartbreaks, I'm still getting hurt. Because I'm still growing. 

There is nothing that's happened in my life that I look back on and didn't recover from. If you are reading this and wondering what in the world I'm talking about, let me tell you. I have lots of friends who go through heartbreak and they never recover. They hang onto the hurt and guilt and pain of those moments in their life. The difference between them and me, I have God showing me that everything is going to be alright. I have Him constantly showing me the better things that he has for me. If I hadn't recovered from those heartbreaks, I wouldn't have been strong enough to go into a relationship with my Husband 7 years ago. I wouldn't have my own home. My own motorcycle. My son. But God had greater plans for me than what I thought. I look back on those heartbreaks and I see stepping stones to the greater things that He wanted me to have. 

And that's the first thing I wish I had known in my 20's.