Look what I can do!

I hopped back on the weight loss train. I started watching my food intake. Consuming more water. You know all those things that you are supposed to do when you start a weight loss regiment. Last night Joseph decided to get up at 11 and scream for an hour. Then play for another hour or more. I lose track. So today, needless to say, Justin and I were VERY tired. We both got an evening nap and when we woke up, I was just drained.

I started helping make dinner and couldn't shake the sleepy feeling. I had dinner while trying to focus on NOT eating to much crap. Then Justin went outside with Joseph. I had a choice to make. I could remain consumed in the 'drama' I was dealing with OR 'work out.' I went on the porch and did some calf raises on the porch. 2 sets. 25. So just a lovely low number of 50. I was discouraged but had the grand idea of jumping rope.

First of all, Don't just rope without the proper attire. Shoes would have been a great choice. Next time, a requirement would be an over the shoulder boulder holder. But hey. Don't jump rope without a bra on. I started jumping. What a joke. I was so discouraged that I wanted to give up. Completely devastated. I wanted to give up. I wanted to stop. But I didn't. Not because I wanted to seem like an awesome person. BUT because my friend is getting married in 167 days!!!!

I was sitting in my room after my disappointment and got aggravated with God. I couldn't believe that I had allowed myself to get to this place again. All I could hear in my head was how my dad used to tell me that he wished I was healthier. Yeah, I had a kid. So what. That's not an excuse for me. I lost 60 before. Why couldn't I again? Here I sat, completely crumbled, and I hear. "I'm proud of you."

Ummm what? Proud of me? Are you kidding me? I just jumped rope 50 times. Not even consecutively. The girl who walked 3 miles every Sunday? They girl who got down to a size 22 in just 3 months and was working on a 20?! Proud?!?!? 1 year and a month and 8 days post Joseph and STILL up at 290 rocking a size 26. Proud?!?!?!

You know, I'm just starting my journey over again. I think what is trying to be said here is that I stuck with it. I could have given up. I could have said screw this I'll just be fat and happy. But in reality. I wouldn't be happy. Only because I've seen what I'm capable of. What I'm getting at.... Don't give up on anything. Your dreams. Your goals. Your desires. Don't give up. Keep pushing. Keep going. Keep moving. It's worth it to hear the words, I'm proud of you.