How to be a lighthouse when your light has grown dim.

​It’s no surprise that we face things in our lives that are very heavy. We lose people we love, we have people completely demolish our thought process, we deal with circumstances beyond our control that we feel is our fault, the list goes on and on. 

I was reading in 2 Corinthians this morning and in verse 6 it says, “For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” We also see in Matthew where it talks about us being the light of the world.

There are days when we aren’t that. We aren’t a city on a hill. We aren’t feeling like we are the light of the world. Sometimes we are so overcome with dread and doubt that we can pull ourselves into this pit of darkness and don’t feel like we can get ourselves out. 

Does that mean you aren’t a christian? No. Because if you have accepted Jesus as your savior nothing can change that. Does this make you a ‘bad christian’, I don’t believe that it does. I believe that we go through seasons that are hard. I have gone through things where it’s felt like I am in a boxing ring and being held down to get the crap knocked out of me. And I’m sure you have been there too.

But I have also been taught that in the end, we win. The battle may seem like a loss  but we win in the end. I’m not saying that this is instantly going to restore your joy. 2 Corinthians goes on to say we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. Which I scoffed at when I read it because I know some people who are going through some of the darkest times in their life and they would feel that way. 

When I have friends who come to me dealing with the heaviness of depression I have defaulted to tell them to read Psalm. David was a man who expressed his emotions quite openly. I also tell them that they need to openly express to God what it is they are feeling. Just like David did. Psalm 22 opens with “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.” Doesn’t that sound familiar to you? Read the full Psalm and see if you have ever felt like David has felt.

I looked through an article this morning on gotquestions online and found it very interesting what this particular author said about depression. He encouraged the reader to examine their life. Search for spiritual issues that may be left unaddressed. For example. 

Do you have unbiblical beliefs about yourself and/or your relationship with God? If we aren’t walking in the word correctly this could cause us to have a wedge between us and God. Not because God has moved, but because we have. If the word says that we are his chosen people, then you cannot continue to tell yourself that you aren’t wanted or loved. If the word says that you are set apart, you cannot continue to walk in the ways of the world. If the word tells you that God knows you deeply, you cannot go around telling people that no one understands how you are feeling or what you are going through. God isn’t surprised by anything that happens in this life so our first response should be to run to him and seek his guidance. 

Are there things in your life that have damaged you that you have not fully dealt with? This is a hard one. We all have baggage. We all have stuff in our life that we carry that we shouldn’t. Some people have deep rooted issues that they have never uncovered because they haven’t spent the time or resources to do so. 

Are you harboring unforgiveness and bitterness in your life? We can hold onto hurt for so long that it changes our perspective of things. When we get hurt by someone or something, it can completely drive us away from people, from our ministry, and our Father. Walking with unforgiveness is like holding onto a poison and expecting the other person to be affected by it. It does nothing to them but damages us from the inside. 

Are there things you did in your past for which you feel guilty? When we look back over our lives I’m sure there are things that we regret and feel bad for. When we hand those things over to the Father we aren’t supposed to continue to pick them up. We also can’t walk in those actions over and over. We have to walk away from them and repent. We can’t go through life looking through the rearview. 

This author feels that Depression is a battle of the mind. I know that the mind is a powerful thing. I also know that there are things that we cannot control in our DNA. Diabetes, Cancers, Depression, ADHD. There are medications that are on the market to help with those things and I’m sure God gave people the ability to make them. I do feel like we, as christians, we have a hard time coming to terms with some of those questions that were asked before. We have to spend time examining ourselves.

When you do talk things out with someone, I want you to remember ONE THING. Romans 8:35-39, “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that love us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

You may feel miles away from him. He is still there and he still loves YOU. Don’t go through this alone. If you know someone who is walking through a season of darkness, don’t abandon them. Love them through it. Walk with them. You never know the power of a text, a call, or a hug. 

You aren't perfect, and that's okay.

You aren't

and that's okay!

 

But....... I don't see it that way. And that's because I'm a perfectionist. Everything has to be just a certain way and if it isn't I hyperventilate. I accept that that's the way that I am. I'm learning to try to adjust my mindset but I'm a work in progress. My coach has helped me in a lot of ways but I'm still learning. I'm trying to prioritize things and learn that not everything is going to get done, and that's okay..... even though I would rather not sleep than leave a task incomplete.

Recently, I've been faced with having to accept the hard truth that I, myself, am not perfect. SAY WHAT? Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. I get it. That's not a hard concept to actually attribute to because the word tells us that no one is perfect except the Father. As Christians we know this! But do we really know this. Are we really able to allow ourselves to accept grace for ourselves? I know I'm not!

How dare I fall short or make a mistake! There is no way that I, Deborah, do something like that. As I look back over different situations over my life I can see the times I made mistakes where I wasn't able to be forgiven for. Those moments overshadow the times where I was shown forgiveness. Up until recently. I walked around my whole teenage, and up into my adult life, not understanding the forgiveness of the Father until I was shown it by the one who didn't have to show it to me.

When you are in a position where you hold your standard for yourself so high, you are doomed to fall/fail at some point. Basically daily. And you will beat yourself up over and over and over and over and over and over again. You will be in this cycle of endless shaming yourself of how can you do this crap to yourself. How can you allow yourself to be so stupid. Look at you screwing up this again.

You will talk down to yourself constantly, but that's not what the word tells us. You see, I'm finding more and more that the less that I'm in the word the less I am able to see the truth about myself. I'm not reminded about the things that I need to be reminded about. And I'm sure you are the same way too. If we aren't constantly feeding ourselves with the goodness of the word, we aren't going to have the flowing out of us either.   

The good news is, YOU AREN'T PERFECT AND THAT'S OKAY.... **shutters in corner..... I'm a work in progress** Those flaws that you see in yourself is where God comes in and HE shines through. That's the goodness of the wonderful work of God. Where you fail, God prevails. Where you are flawed, God shows up. This is why we know we can't do it on our own. We can do nothing on our own, we have to rely on God to help us. BUT until we realize that and really accept that fact, we will continue the cycle of beating ourselves up. Ouch that hurt me a little bit typing that. 

I challenge you. Repeat that it's okay to make mistakes. It's not a get out of jail free pass. But we're human, we make mistakes. It's what we do with those moments when we make the mistakes that count. We have to stop seeing mistakes as moments to reticule ourselves but moments to rebuild ourselves. Learn from them, grow from them, and excel from them. 

Relational

 This morning as I was getting up God gave me something pretty nifty and I wanted to share it with you. We are people who long to be in relationships. We were created to be in a relationship with God. Our relationship with others flows out how our relationship with God is going. Then the way we lead or direct others flows from there too. When we have a broken relationship with God everything else kinda falls apart. When I broke down the word Relational I came up with a scripture for each letter to help us kinda figure us out a little bit better.

R- Read. Joshua 1:8 -This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

In order to be in a relationship with God the best place to start is in his word. But it also says that we should meditate on it. That doesn't mean that we read the passage and go on about our life. We have to really think about it. Study it. Write it on our hearts. Share it with others. 

E - Experience. Hebrews 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

It's important that we spend time in church. I know I know, "I don't need a church building to be a christian." But the Bible tells us that we should not forsake the assembling of ourselves. We should be getting together with like minded believers. We need to experience things WITH them. Spending time together. These friendships are VERY important! That depth with God is hard. 

L - Learn. Proverbs 4:7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.

I remember being told as a young teenager to always spend time with the older people in the church. They had wisdom and being around them was a good idea. We should never stop seeking opportunities to learn and gain wisdom. Being around other people who are wiser than we are will provide us with opportunities for that. Always. And I mean ALWAYS find a way to learn something new. 

A - Attention. 1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:

As friends, we look out for each other. As brothers and sisters, we call each other out when we see that the other is doing something that they shouldn't. The devil is seeking weak spots in our lives and in our relationships to take us out. In our marriages, in our friendships, in our churches, in our homes. We are supposed to be sober minded people. We are supposed to make sure that we are paying attention to detail! 

T - Time. Exodus 20:3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

This one seems kinda weird. But I hear more and more of this excuse coming out of my own mouth than anything else. I just don't have the time. And it's a poor excuse. If something is taking time away from my time with my relationship with God, it doesn't need to be there. It's become a god in my life and it probably should be removed. It's one of the Ten Commandments. There should be no other God before him and when I put something on the throne before him, he will find a way to remove it. So, making the TIME for him is a must.

I - Intentional. Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

When we hand our life over to the Lord we intentionally make a change. We make a decision to turn from our old ways and become a new person. We have to intentionally have honest, true, pure, and good relationships with people. Even when they are hard. Christian relationships are difficult. I recently had to have some of the hardest conversations with some of my closest friends because I needed to hear some hard things. But that's what real christian friends do. They INTENTIONALLY took the time to love on me like a brother and a sister should.

O - One on One. Eph 5:15-16 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

We have to take the most of each opportunity. Taking time to have those one on one conversations with each other. The hard ones. Like I said prior. The days are evil and a lot of people will try to speak lies and tickle your ears. We have to be people of the word and not of the world. Having someone close that you can be 100% honest with is a very important thing. Not just those around us but having that with Christ. 

N - Notice. Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

When you are transformed you notice things about your friends that you may not have noticed before. It's amazing that you get God colored glasses and you see things in a different light. You can sense things that you couldn't before. You know when your friends need a phone call or a talk. You can do things you might not have been able to do before. We notice things differently. Being close with God helps with those things too. You have to have that relationship with God first so it flows downward. 

A - Aspire. Isaiah 43:2 When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

Grow through what you go through. It's a pain but it's what I hear all the time right now. We have to remember that we aren't going through things alone. We have to aspire to continue to grow. In our trails, in our relationship with God, in our relationship with others, and in all aspects of life. We have to keep going. We have to keep growing. Aspire to do better in our relationships. 

And finally. L. Love. Always Love. John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

I'm not talking about "love is love." I'm talking about loving people enough to be honest. Loving people enough to hurt their feelings. Loving people enough to go through hard times with them. Love them to make them mad and still be their friends. It takes real friendships. It takes real Christians to do that. When I think about Love, I think about Jesus sitting at the table with Judas talking about someone betraying him. Knowing that it was going to be Judas. Looking right at him. Handing out the bread and the wine. Talking to them. Walking through life with them. And still loving him. That's the kind of love that I'm talking about. And that..... that's hard.